All posts tagged: humor

Who Said It: Hemingway or an Email from My Grandma?

1. “Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.” 2. “The weather is nice. The day is kind. You, my love, are lovely.” 3. “Believe in yourself and you will be set free. But freedom is a fickle thing.” 4. “I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” 5. “A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not.” 6. “The table was set. The glasses were fine and the food delicious. For me though, it was too much.” 7. “In order to write about life first you must live it.” 8. “You gotta find that courage within yourself. Without it, you’re nothing.” 9. “I sat staring out the window today. Life passing me by. My memories my companion.” 10. “Why, darling, I don’t live at all when I’m not with you.” Hemingway: 1, 4, 5, 7, 10 Grandma: 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 Advertisements

The Grammar Sins of Starbucks

The holiday season means it’s finally time to bust out the Ella Fitzgerald album, the awkward Christmas sweater, and the dubious stories to tell your family about how you’re “really enjoying” your job, your relationship is going “very well, thank you,” and you feel like your life is “definitely on the right track.” But for everyone from Seoul to San Francisco, the holidays also mean that the streets will be bathed in a blurred red, everyone trotting along through the cold and the snow, a trusty holiday-themed Starbucks cup in hand. Yet while the Seattle-based company is busy taking over the world, it’s also busy corroding the already battered English language.

If Famous Authors Contributed to ‘Glamour’ and ‘Cosmopolitan’

Ernest Hemingway And you prop your legs over his shoulders. And they are warm. He is warm. His forehead is sweaty. Your legs are tired. But you are not tired. He begins. He finishes. You finish. Perhaps not until later. By yourself. It is a cycle. The fan spins on you, on him, on your legs. Your mind begins to wander. It was pleasant. Not good. But not bad. He proved strong and capable in the face of a task. This is all you can ask of him. Jean-Paul Sartre I wonder what the meaning of my existence is if Simone can give me so much carnal pleasure? For if my existence is meaningless then God is not real; yet if God were real and Man were real than God would necessarily reduce Man to a mere object. Perhaps that is exactly it. Perhaps I am a mere object in her hands, malleable like sexualized clay, my existential existence constructed entirely by her. Oh, but she is not God! There is no omniscient being even …

7 Best Fitzgerald Pick-Up Lines

The vernacular may have changed since F. Scott Fitzgerald graced this earth, but the way his characters picked up ladies is impressive no matter what year you live in. Now some may say the lines are sexist or infantilizing or what have you, but we’ve got to trust this guy a little don’t we? After all, he picked up Zelda, the wild woman of the South, and somehow his almost uniformly narcissistic characters ended up doing pretty well when it came to impressing the fairer sex. After all, Amory Blaine, the principle character of This Side of Paradise and a near perfect replica of Fitzgerald himself, was about as self-obsessed as they come, yet Rosalind and Eleanor, even Isabelle, couldn’t help falling for his charming lines. Have a look at how Fitzgerald’s characters had a way with women: Keep It Mysterious I’ve got an adjective that just fits you.’ This was one of his favorite starts—he seldom had a word in mind, but it was a curiosity provoker, and he could always produce something complimentary …